Women Look Their Oldest at 3:30pm on Wednesday, Evil Study Makes Sure to Point Out
Now you don’t have to rely on passive-aggressive coworkers to tell you that you look “tired.” A new study has pinpointed the exact time at which women look like the physical manifestation of the sad trombone noise: Wednesday at 3:30pm.
You’ve got your boozing and your boss to blame, not necessarily in that order. For many women, Wednesday is their most stressful day of the week. One in five even work through their Wednesday lunch hour, leading to an afternoon slump (and a waste of a perfectly good Philly cheesesteak, dammit). Almost half of all women are also likely to knock back a few drinks over the weekend—and since it can take up to 72 hours for the visible effects of alcohol to manifest, it only shows up on your face in the middle of the week. Way to stab us in the back, dirty gin martini with extra olives.
Partying/watching a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marathon all weekend? A third of women say Monday night, when they’re back in the swing of the workweek, is when they’re most likely to get a bad night’s sleep. Many are also most likely to abandon their skincare regime on Wednesday since they’re so exhausted and stressed and nothing even matters and we’re all going to die anyway and there’s no face cream in hell. And when you’re sleep-deprived and have pores clogged full of foundation, your skin cells don’t have a chance to rejuvenate, giving you that puffy, old glow by mid-week.
But hey, it’s Thursday, so you look good again. FOR NOW. Enjoy it while it lasts, byeeee!
Hey, there’s still hope for us! We’re offering a deal on Ethos Lift Anti-Aging Serum for $29 (reg. $100), delivered to your door. Sale ends January 29.